


New Years Resolutions

by BasicallySnakespere



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, happy new year, sorry bout this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28480395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicallySnakespere/pseuds/BasicallySnakespere
Summary: I have no excuse for this, I literally wrote it at midnight. Happy new year!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Kudos: 13





	New Years Resolutions

Anxiety sunk out, angry after the last video. Thomas really thought he could just use a catchy tune to solve all his problems and keep lying to himself, didn’t he? He stomped into the dark sides’ commons, flopping onto a couch with a dramatic huff.

“Easy day Anxiety?”

Anxiety rolled over just enough to glare at Deceit.

“Terrible. They’re all a bunch of idiots. Thomas isn’t gonna stick to those goals, and he’s just gonna get more upset when he doesn’t which makes more work for me.” He griped, despite the fact that Deceit had heard it all before.

“Do take it personally, Thomas just isn’t in the habit of lying to himself about most things.” Deceit waved a gloved hand dismissively. “He’s totally ready to face the truth, and the time won’t come soon enough when he can continue to deny it.”

Anxiety rolled over so he was looking up at the ceiling, and not at Deceit’s mismatched eyes. “I just wish they’d stop making me into the bad guy. I just don’t want Thomas setting himself up for failure, y’know”

“No Anxiety, I totally don’t know what you mean.” Deceit stood up from the armchair, and walked over, nudging Anxiety’s feet of the couch so he could sit by the totally-not-pouting emo. “I know you fully enjoy being made the bad guy, but it isn’t necessary for them to hear you out.” Deceit’s expression darkened into something Anxiety couldn’t hope to interpret. “The light sides are very open to others who hold differing views, and you would be able to get your point across by letting them ignore you.” 

Something in Anxiety’s expression must have seemed off, because Deceit sighed, and softened his expression. “I think you did a terrible job today, calling out their lies, and you don’t have a good singing voice.” He smirked. “Surprisingly, you didn’t ruin it singing all your screamy emo songs.”

Anxiety blushed and sat up to shove Deceit playfully. “I don’t listen to it that much anymore! At least not loud enough that everyone can hear it! Besides, at least it’s not all that jazz you listen to! Really, jazz at 2 AM!” 

Deceit gasped, and pressed a hand to his chest, mock offended. “How dare you, jazz isn’t the highlight of music, and the only decent genre to come from the 1900s!” The two glared at each other for a moment, playing at anger, before breaking out in giggles.

After their giggles died down, the two ended up cuddled together on the couch, neither one sure how the blanket tossed over them got there.

“Hey, Dee?”

“Yes, Anx?”

“What’s your new year’s resolution?”

Deceit chuckled and ran his fingers through Anxiety’s hair. “Well, I suppose if I had to have one, it would be to get acceptance. For all of us. To get Thomas to start listening to all of us dark sides, so our family can be together in the light.” He sighed, eyes closing. “That’s mostly wishful thinking. I doubt he’d ever want to know about any of us others, let alone accepting Remus and I.”

Anxiety felt a flash of guilt coil in his gut. “I mean, if I can get close enough that Thomas knows about me, so can you? We can make it happen.” 

“Don’t worry about it Anx, it isn’t my job to keep us hidden,” Deceit replied dully.

Suddenly feeling struck with emotion, Anxiety turned, grabbing Deceit’s face, ignoring the other’s surprise. “Deceit, I’m gonna promise you right now. Someday we’ll all get accepted, okay? I’ll do it, I’ll make sure of it. We can get Thomas to accept all of us.” He let go of Deceit’s face and leaned back in for cuddles. “We’re always gonna be a family, right?” He murmured into Deceit’s cloak, feeling tired.

He almost missed Deceit’s hesitant reply. “Yeah, we will, promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
2021

Janus looked at himself in the mirror, taking in his haggard appearance. So he’d looked better, he’d looked worse. His scales might’ve been duller, his skin pale and unhealthy looking, with eyebags to rival Virgil’s.

He was fine, and even if he wasn’t it was nobody’s business but his own. 

Not that anyone cared enough to notice.

Remus was off spending New Years’ with his brother and the light sides, Roman begrudgingly inviting him. Janus had also received an invitation but had declined. He didn’t need or want their fake obligatory kindness, and he certainly didn’t want to see Virgil again, and he knew Virgil shared his sentiment.

So here he was, alone in the dark side’s commons, trying and failing to read a book. It was one he had read several times on Aristotle’s philosophies. It truly was a fascinating book, but it seemed his focus was elsewhere today. 

He sighed and closed his book. No point in lying to himself, he wasn’t the light sides after all.

He hadn’t been taking care of himself at all, ever since he got back from speaking to Thomas, after the wedding. He had been so happy, truly happy, and why wouldn’t he be? Thomas had listened to him, he’d told Thomas (and the others, by extension) his name. Thomas had even said that maybe Deceit wasn’t all bad. It was more than Janus had honestly ever hoped for. 

But then he’d risen up, only to be met by Virgil.

Virgil, who once promised they’d all get accepted together. Virgil, his once best friend, the only person he’d ever really been honest with. Virgil, who now glared at him with complete and utter hatred.

Virgil had torn into Janus, saying he’d never really help Thomas, that he was a lying manipulative snake, and that he had no right to ever step foot into the conscious mind. Janus could’ve taken all that in stride, after all, he’d been hearing those same insults for years. No, what really hurt was when Virgil had pinned Janus to the wall, one hand around his throat, and glared, his expression cold and hateful.

“I won’t let you hurt them, not like you hurt me. You haven’t changed, you’re still the manipulative monster you were back then, you aren’t suddenly good, or caring. I know you didn’t care about me, or any of us, then, and I know you don’t know. So drop the act, because if you try to trick any of them into thinking you’re anything other than a lying bastard, I’ll skin the scales off of you myself.”

Janus had simply pushed Virgil off of him, dusting off his clothes and leaving for the dark side like it was nothing, but he’d barely made it out of there before he broke down sobbing. Was that really what his old friend thought of him?

After that, Janus had stopped. Stopped showing up for meetings and videos, stopped accepting Patton’s invitation to family dinners and game nights, stopped taking care of himself. He stopped caring. 

For months, Janus hardly ate or slept. He wasn’t real after all, he couldn’t die. Besides, even if he could, it wasn’t like there was anyone left who would care. 

Then someone knocked on the door, startling Janus out of his thoughts. He stood up, fixing his hat and clothes so he looked presentable, and opened the door with a raised eyebrow.

“Heya De- Janus!” 

“...” Janus just stared at Patton, waiting for him to speak. The fatherly figure shifted awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable with Janus’s silence.

“I know you said you didn’t want to come, but I figured, you could at least join us for the countdown! It wouldn’t be right for you to be the only one left out after all!”

Patton didn’t really wait for an answer, simply dragging Janus to the light side. He let himself be taken, not really strong enough to fight against the determined dad’s grip on his arm.

“Patton, you’re not the only one who wants me there, there’s really not a point in me going.” Janus’s protests fell on deaf ears, and since Patton clearly wasn’t going to listen, Janus stopped, deciding to save his energy.

As he had predicted, nearly everyone else seemed immensely uncomfortable when Patton dragged Janus in, Virgil going so far as to hiss at him. Janus didn’t even bother to hiss back, he was too tired. 

They counted down, and afterward, Janus tried to leave, but Patton made them all sit down, and say what their new year’s resolution was.

“I’ll go first!” Patton bounced happily in his seat, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. “This year I want to finally learn how to knit! I think it’d be so cool to be able to give everyone something I’d made myself!”

Roman tried to play along, putting on a bright grin. “A noble endeavor if I do say so myself! As for my own goal, I want to further hone my craft! Wait and see, by this time next year we’ll have made it to the big screens!”

Logan was next, though he protested, saying the effort really wasn’t necessary. “I suppose if I must participate”

“Which you must-” Roman interjected.

“Then my resolution would be to finally get Thomas a working sleep schedule, his current one is unhealthy and unproductive.” He fixed his glasses, and Janus noted down the movement for the next time he needed to impersonate the logical side.

“Well, mine isn’t nearly that boring!” Remus was next, the duke hardly containing his excitement. “My resolution is to-” [this part has been edited out for the reader’s peace of mind.]

They all sat in silence, trying not to mentally picture that image.

Virgil was next, the anxious emo having been shifting in his spot next to Deceit all night. “I guess mine is to protect Thomas, from any threats that could hurt him. I’m not gonna let him get hurt this year.” He glared over at Janus, who smoothly rose from his seat and headed for the door.

“Wait Janus, we still haven’t heard yours yet!” Patton called out, and Janus turned, smiling a fake smirk at him.

“It’s perfectly alright Patton, I didn’t have one anyway. Besides, I can tell when I’m not wanted.” And with that he smoothly turned and shut the door closed behind him, ignoring Virgil’s scoff.

He huddled up in his bed once he made it back, letting the tears leak free, too tired to keep lying to himself, to keep up the facade of being unaffected by Virgil’s jabs.

He really didn’t have a new year’s resolution, he didn’t make them anymore.

They were all lies, after all.


End file.
